


(Unused draft)There's Nothing There

by Wassup_Persona (Ha_YouWish)



Series: (First ideas/Unused drafts)Beneath The Mask [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Study, Gen, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 06:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11708838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ha_YouWish/pseuds/Wassup_Persona
Summary: Adapting is what Akira does. It's all he does. It's all he is. People change, he adapts.--NOTICE:A discontinued series first draft. Read if you want, but no more will be added to this. However, this is the bases for a new story in the works. I decided to do an entire AU (This would've gone off into one anyways). More info about it is coming soon. In the mean time, enjoy whatever the hell this is because I'm not using it.I also feel kinda stupid for not being as efficient with this whole mess. However, I'm going to try to take more consideration into future works.





	(Unused draft)There's Nothing There

_Where have you been?_

_Been searching all along_

_Come facing twilight on and on_

_Without a clue_

_Without a sign_

_Without grasping yet_

_The real question to be asked_

_Where have I been?_

 

Akira knew what face to put on around people in his hometown. Depending on the person, he could easily adapt. The ever-so-happy neighbor down the street? A fake smile and a wave back. The grumpy grocery store employee? Be polite and disinterested. People change, he adapts.

After moving to Tokyo, people end up treating him a lot harsher. Threats and rumors. People expect him to be a serial killer? He keeps his head down. Someone thinks he keeps a knife on him? He wears a proper uniform and fake glasses to blend in. Teachers think he’s going to harass some unsuspecting victim? He tries not speak that often.

Even after meeting Ryuji and Ann and Morgana and awakening to Arsene, there isn't much to Akira Kurusu.

All of his life, it's been about adapting to others around him. Is adapting to people all that he is?

Unsurprisingly to him, he doesn't have a reaction to the thought when it comes to mind. It must be true. He just doesn't _get_ strong emotions like normal people do. He’s not like Ryuji or Ann or Morgana, he doesn't have feelings that drive him to do anything, really. Just his masks. Just the way he adapts to people. It's not much because there’s not much to Akira.

He tries to recall if he had ever really _felt something_. He recalled the most recent moment.

When he awakened to his Persona. The feeling that comes back to him is a small feeling of rebellion. The feeling is tiny now, but it gives him enough to say that that’s why he’s doing this. The only time he had felt it before that had gotten him landed on probation.

It may be small, but he has a reason to fight. To rebel.

 

_I'm a shapeshifter_

_At Poe's masquerade_ _  
_

_Hiding both face and mind_ _  
_

_All free for you to draw_ _  
_

_I'm a shapeshifter_ _  
_

_What else should I be?_ _  
_

_Please don't take off my mask_

_Revealing dark_

 

It took a palace and a half to perfectly craft how he adapts in the Metaverse. Joker is a confident (borderline cocky) leader who knows everyone's strengths and weaknesses, including his own, and makes the best out of all of them. He can make sassy remarks, be really extra for no particular reason, and turn a bad situation into a good one with just a change of a Persona.

In other words, Joker is not Akira. He’s a mask he puts on to adapt to the Metaverse, that’s all.

The rest of the Phantom Thieves don't really notice, they don't even notice how much Akira’s “personality” changes when he’s around different people. He wonders if he would ever tell anyone about it… 

Akira feels a flick to his right shoulder, suddenly bringing him to the present. 

“Dude, you alright?” Ryuji asks. Akira looks over the their finished meal. Was he zoned out that much? He doesn't know what the conversation had even moved to.

“Oh, I'm fine.”

“You looked so lost in thought,” Yusuke says, “I did not want to break your concentration.”

“Sorry.”

Ann’s looking at him from across the table. He’s not really sure if she's suspicious or worried or a mix of both, so he puts on his best blank face he can. She lets whatever it is go.

Akira would have to be more careful. If she starts asking questions, he'd have nothing to respond with. He can't say that he's not okay because normal people have strong emotions that define their personality, while he _doesn't_.

He would need to get better in group settings. He could take the team out more and practice there. He has a plan, but he doesn't know why he needs it. He decides to go through with it anyways.

 

_Moments of calm_

_Nothing left to be found_ _  
_

_A mirror right in front of me_ _  
_

_Is where I find_ _  
_

_An empty glass_ _  
_

_Reflecting the sad truth_ _  
_

_I_ _t's telling words not to be told_ _  
_

_I need the mask_

 

After Makoto joins the team, he ends up putting on a mostly blank face in front of her. She’s smart. If she notices anything, he'd have no way out. No way to get out of a conversation. He’s not used to her yet in the real world. Queen’s a great addition to the team and Joker gets along with her, but Makoto is smart enough to figure out Akira Kurusu.

Why does this bother him so much? The question keeps nagging at the back of his mind for some reason-

“ _Akira.”_ It's Makoto trying to get his attention. He can feel the eyes of all the others on him, but his thoughts are a jumbled mess. He puts on a blank face to hide them.

He thinks that he’s been caught, that he has to explain what’s been happening. That he has to tell them he doesn’t have anything under what he shows to others and that it’s not what bothers him.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” He quickly gets up and starts down the walkway, leaving everyone else at the “hideout” without looking back.

When he finds the nearest bathroom, he sighs and leans against a wall. He doesn't know what he’s doing. He doesn't know why he’s hiding. He doesn't feel guilty, he doesn't feel anything right now. He just had needed to _get away_ . It wasn't panic, but something forcing him to _move_.

“What’s the point?” He mumbles to himself, walking over to the mirror. He takes off his glasses and tries to look at himself as if he’s a different person. He doesn't find anything but grey eyes looking back at him. He won't tell anyone that.

_I'm a shapeshifter_

_At Poe's masquerade_

_Hiding both face and mind_

_All free for you to draw_

_I'm a shapeshifter_

_Chained down to my core_

_Please don't take off my mask_

_My place to hide_

 

He doesn't adapt very well to the Velvet Room. The jail cell is apparently a reflection of his own heart, so it’s pretty much impossible. He's tried joking around or being angry, but the residents can see right through him and see how empty he really is. It’s never happened to him before, he doesn't know what to think of it.

Every time he can feel a bond strengthening, it’s someone else warming up to _him_. They're no closer to seeing him. But they already know in the Velvet Room. It slightly bothers him that they can see beyond his many faces and personas. It's not something large. Just a small tug whenever he enters.

Knowing someone can see him doesn't settle that well.

 

* * *

 

“What's Joker doing?” Oracle asks on her first trip to Mementos. The group talking amongst themselves while waiting for him.

“I guess you haven't seen this before, have you? Sometimes he just goes to a spot and stands there. He said that he actually goes to a place to get new Personas, but to us it looks like he’s zoning out,” Panther explains.

“Oh. I can't tell at all.”

“Joker does zone out often. I see where you’d be confused,” Queen says.

“But what is on his mind?” Fox wonders.

“Good luck in trying to find out,” Skull says leaning against a wall, “Dude’s hard to read.”

“Does he say anything to you, Mona?”

Morgana, who’d been quiet all this time, looks up at the rest of the group.

“He doesn't tell me anything, but I think there’s something bothering him. I tried asking once, he said that it was nothing. After that he started acting weird.”

“I hope he’s okay.”

The conversation would have continued, but Joker turns around and signals to the party that it was good to go. They'd have to continue it later.

_I can't tell you_

_How to see me_

_Just a cage of bones_

_There's nothing inside_

_Will it unleash me_

_Burning down the walls_ _  
_

_Is there a way_ _  
_

_For me to break?_

 

He didn't really say much when Morgana ran away. He didn't really say much when Haru joined the Phantom Thieves. Not even when Akechi blackmailed them. Not even as they went over their plan. 

His friends notice this. Something was wrong. They don't know what it is, but something happened to Akira. They meet up in secret and try to figure it out. He doesn't tell them anything, so they have to try to somehow get it out of him. Morgana goes for the obvious approach.

“Are you scared?” He asks as soon as the meeting to review the plan is finished. Much to his and the others’ worry, Akira shakes his head.

“I'm not.” He gets up from his spot on the couch and goes down to the cafe.

“That's a problem,” Futaba says quietly.

“That depends on what we make of this,” Makoto sighs.

“Why didn't we notice what was happenin’ earlier?” Ryuji says in a low angry tone.

“We can't focus on the past now, it's already been done. But right now, Makoto needs to have the right mindset when we send the calling card,” Yusuke points out.

“I'm worried about Akira-kun, though. We don't know if she’ll believe him. We don't know if-” Haru cut herself off when Akira came back upstairs carrying coffee and a cup of tea. He set them down on the table.

“Here Ryuji, I know you don't like bitter stuff,” he says, handing him the tea.

“Uh, thanks man.” The room falls silent. No one knows what to say to Akira. He’s not looking at anyone else; the eyes behind his glasses are invisible in the light.

The trains would stop running soon, he reminds them that. He watches them go and walks Futaba back to her house.

He doesn't sleep at all that night, kept awake by one thought in his mind.

_They know._

_I'm a shapeshifter_

_At Poe's masquerade_

_Hiding both face and mind_

_All free for you to draw_

_I'm a shapeshifter_

_Have no face to show_

_Please don't take off my mask_

_My disguise_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for Persona and I think I'm gonna have some fun with this series. 
> 
> I wanted Akira to outright think that being blank is not normal. I wanted him to make the tiny spark of rebellion be what drives him, otherwise he has nothing and could easily quit. 
> 
> The whole point of this part in the series is for him to acknowledge it so it can play into the next part.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
